Infidelity in Marriage

Infidelity runs rampant in our society, and it is often romanticized and accepted in movies, despite how damaging it is. It is displayed by Hollywood as a way to escape a boring or unhappy life, and is filled with excitement and romance. However, what Hollywood does not often show is that infidelity in marriage is extremely destructive and painful. Infidelity leaves a loyal spouse feeling abandoned, undesirable, and neglected. It can ruin lives and marriages that would have thrived if an unloyal spouse had tried harder to improve the marriage they were in instead of turning their attentions outwards. However, though sexual affairs are what people often think of first when they think of a spouse cheating, there are actually four types of affairs, some of which you might find surprising.

The first type of affair is the Fantasy Affair. This type of affair does not even require the awareness of both people; one person in the affair may have no idea it is even happening. This affair is defined as the situation in which a married person begins to fantasize about a life with another person that is not their spouse. They often compare their spouse to this person, wishing their spouse could be more like them. They also spend more time thinking about this individual than they think about their spouse, causing a strong emotional connection outside of marriage. Though this is not how people commonly picture an affair, it is still showing disloyalty to one spouse when their thoughts are focused on someone outside of their marriage. The next type of affair is the Visual Affair.

The Visual Affair is the viewing of others in a sexual way. This affair is most commonly connected with pornography. Pornography can come in multiple forms, not just pictures. Another example of pornography can be through books. Many women that have affairs often start out by reading books about unrealistic male love interests, which set unreachable expectations for them with their husbands. Visual pornography also causes people to view others more as objects than as other humans. This is extremely damaging, and can have huge negative impacts on a marriage. Society thinks pornography is inconsequential and not a big deal, but viewing others in a sexual way outside of your marriage is a form of cheating and can be very hurtful to your spouse. The next type of affair is the Romantic Affair.

The Romantic Affair is when two individuals become emotionally involved when one or both of them is married to someone else. This can sometimes begin as just a Fantasy Affair, but can quickly grow into something more if it is allowed to. Most people become involved in a Romantic Affair to avoid boring or monotonous everyday life within marriage. It is expressed as a way to spice up your life by way of secret getaways with a lover. However, at one point this too will become boring and lose its excitement. Someone that takes part in a Romantic Affair will always end up disappointed and dissatisfied because the thrill and magic of it can't last forever. This affair is also extremely painful for a loyal spouse. It's very heartbreaking to find out that a spouse has been living another life behind your back, just for a little bit of excitement with someone else. The last type of affair is the sexual affair.

The Sexual Affair is when one spouse participates in sexual acts with someone outside of their marriage. This affair often stems from a Visual Affair. When a spouse is viewing others outside their marriage sexually, they might eventually act on these feelings. Society often portrays this as fun and exciting, but eventually shame, guilt, and heartbreak will have to come from it. It is impossible to be happy for long when you are participating in an affair behind your spouse's back. When this affair finally comes to light, hurt and pain will be inevitable. This can be so damaging to not only to a marriage, but also to both spouse's lives. The excitement of an affair will never be worth its consequences.

Many people that get involved in affairs do not view themselves as bad people, and some people do not even realize they are involved in an affair, as some do not think it is an affair until they reach the Sexual Affair. However, any of these types of affairs can be hurtful to a loyal spouse. The best way to avoid any of these affairs is to set safe boundaries. It is really easy to move from one step to the next if you do not set boundaries far enough away that it will not even be possible to cross any lines. For example, if you make a rule to never be alone with someone of the opposite gender, then it will be impossible to form any emotional connections that would take your attention away from your spouse. This may cause some awkwardness in a professional situation, but it is better to risk some awkwardness than to risk the stability of your marriage. A marriage is so important, and your spouse should be the most important person in your life, so the best thing to do is not even risk putting that in jeopardy.