Parenting

Parenting is hard. There is no doubt about it. Though parenting has become pretty underrated in recent years, I have so much respect for hard-working parents. Parenting is a full-time job with few breaks for at least eighteen years. It definitely seems like a daunting task, but I also know that it can be very rewarding and it is extremely important. The purpose of parenthood is to protect and to prepare children to survive and thrive in life and adulthood. Without proper parenting, it is much more difficult for children to succeed. I also mentioned the importance of fatherhood and having both parents in the home for my last blog post if you would be interested in checking that out as well. So what are some factors that lead to successful parenting?

First, it is very important for parents to focus on meeting their child's needs and for them to realize that many bad behaviors stem from these unmet needs. For example, if a child is aggressively touching or grabbing people and going to great lengths for attention, they are probably lacking sufficient contact and attention from their parents or others. I knew a boy in high school that most likely did not have these needs met. He was always loud, he would sometimes grab or kick me and others when he wanted attention, and he was constantly trying to give all of the girls hugs. Needless to say, it was very uncomfortable, and no one wanted to be around him. However, when some of the boys started going out of their way to include him, giving him fist bumps and patting him on the back when they saw him, he really started showing improvement in his behaviors. This just goes to show that when a child's needs are not met by parents at home, they are often externalized and taken out on the people around them. This is why it is so important for parents to focus on meeting these needs before they become life-long issues.

Another factor to better parenting is to allow children to contribute and to encourage them to get things done, but also to give them breaks sometimes. Young children love to be helpful and letting them help with tasks will give them feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment that they will continue to carry with them. As children get older and into their teenage years, they should still be expected to contribute. My parents assigned each of my siblings a dish job that we had to do every night, and we had chores to clean the house at least once a week. Though I hated doing these things at the time, they have made me less lazy and more independent and capable. The result of my upbringing really contrasted with some other people I know, who barely knew how to take care of themselves when they moved out because their parents had done everything for them. That being said, parents do need to be willing to give their children breaks. It is good to push your children to do things and be helpful, but you need to be willing to give them breaks if they seem to be pushed too hard. My mom was good about this, encouraging me to take breaks every once in awhile when I was overworking myself with homework, and she even allowed me the option to take school off occasionally for mental health days if I really needed it.

The last thing I am going to talk about is the importance of letting children make their own choices and experience the consequences of their actions. Letting children learn how decide things for themselves is important, and allows them to gain independence. However, parents should not be afraid to let their children experience the consequences when they make bad choices. If a parent tells the child there will be a punishment if they keep repeating a bad behavior, that punishment needs to be followed through so that the child learns that they cannot just do whatever they want. There are some exceptions to letting children experience natural consequences, though. Parents should prevent children from putting themselves in dangerous situations when the consequences can lead to real harm. An example of this is children playing in the street or around busy roads. It is not worth teaching the child a lesson if their life is in danger because of it. Parents should also prevent situations where the child will be affected for a long time because of their choices that will greatly impact or ruin their future. Lastly, parents should not allow their children to experience the natural consequences of their actions if they will be harmful to others.

Though there are many other factors that lead to successful parenting, these are some that I found to be really important. A parent's main goal should be to help, nurture, and prepare their children for the real world. By meeting your child's needs, allowing them to contribute and feel needed, and letting them make choices and see the consequences of their actions, you will have a huge impact on their lives. Thank you for reading! I hope you learned something :)